Would it surprise you to learn many contested divorces in Louisville often involve narcissism or personality disorders? How will these challenges affect the time it takes to complete your divorce and how much it will ultimately cost?
It is not uncommon these days for many clients to attempt to work through the issues of a divorce in some way with their spouse before turning to our firm for sound advice and counsel. This is wise. It is important to know the cost of your divorce and the time it will take to complete are associated with and tied to the amount of disagreement between you and your former spouse, as well as the ability of each of you to work through these areas to reach a settlement. All issues associated with your divorce must be completely resolved before the Court will issue final orders in your case.
If one or both of the parties are likely to exhibit extraordinarily contentious or dramatic behavior, the time and cost of their divorce will likely increase. Perhaps this is why it shouldn’t come as a surprise to learn that contested divorces in Louisville often involve narcissism or personality disorders. If you are concerned about a spouse with these types of issues, you will need experienced, proven divorce and family law attorneys at Dodd & Dodd Associates, PLLC.
Contested divorces in Louisville often involve narcissism or personality disorders. How do personality and behavioral disorders usually impact the process of a Louisville-area divorce?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is, unfortunately, a common element in many Louisville contested divorces. The typical narcissist perceives the world and everything in it must focus upon and serve their interests. Therefore, a narcissistic spouse is only able to process things from their own perspective, their own point of view. This blend of attention-seeking and control manifests itself in contentious disputes and the focus of “blame” upon everyone but themselves. Dodd and Dodd’s attorneys work with our clients to develop specific strategies for divorcing an NPD spouse. These same strategies also prove useful in the months and years after the divorce is completed, especially in cases involving custody & parenting time. How do you limit the ability of a narcissist to exaggerate emotion or engage in contentious disputes? The keys are often to limit access and forms of engagement to highly manageable platforms such as emails and texting. Avoid conjecture or opinion altogether. A “just the facts” attitude, a tight focus on the situation and facts at hand, and a few proposed alternatives can reduce the number of storms of NPD. What is the specific issue at hand? What are (a limited few) specific options to resolve the matter and move forward?
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
If you thought a relationship with a spouse exhibiting symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) was challenging, imagine the BPD fear of separation and abandonment. These fears can bog down the divorce process at each step along the way. An individual with BPD tends to view situations as “black or white” or “all or nothing” while forcing those around them to navigate waves of mood swings and emotions. Many experts believe it is important to show a level of empathy for these “moods” while carefully managing your own emotions and perceptions. Communications should focus on calm, consistent patterns while remaining focused on a single issue and a couple of options to resolve the matter. [Note: empathy should not involve any level of false expectation that it’s going to be alright or suggestions that might be misinterpreted as a chance for reconciliation. This is detrimental to the other party, as well as your own interests in the context of a divorce]. It may be possible (through counseling and treatment) for a former spouse with BPD to come to recognize the value of continued partnership after the divorce, such as would be required for child custody and parenting time. However, it will be important to have firm boundaries and to limit personal interaction in favor of written communication whenever possible.
The goal in managing these issues is to preserve your own integrity, limit engagement whenever possible, carefully manage all emails, texts, and voicemails to resist provocation, and avoid harsh communications or any interactions that may come back as evidence against you before the Court.
Contested divorces in Louisville often involve narcissism and/or personality disorders. These potentially high-conflict and contentious divorces often involve over-protective parents, cases of parental alienation (attempts to turn a child against you, the other parent), and volatile communication patterns.
The Judge in your case closely and consistently observes every aspect of how you and your spouse conduct yourselves and behave in and out of Court. Remind yourself that everything you say in a voicemail and everything you write in a text or email can and will often wind up in front of the Judge’s eyes and ears. Your experienced, skilled divorce and family law attorneys at Dodd & Dodd, PLLC work with you to develop and implement patterns and communication strategies designed to protect you and your children while working to minimize conflict and emotional storms resulting in damaging communication. We work with you to protect what is most important, highlight the impact of NPD and BPD on you and your children.
We invite you to review the strong recommendations of our former clients and the legal industry and contact Dodd & Dodd or call 502-584-1108 to schedule an appointment with one of our attorneys.
